Monthly Archives: May 2014

Queries That Work: Gail Nall

nall_gailWelcome to the second edition of Queries That Work! This week, I want to thank Gail Nall for allowing me to share the query letter that helped her snag agent Julie A. Weber for her debut middle grade novel, BREAKING THE ICE, to be published in spring 2015 by Aladdin/Simon & Schuster.

Gail says of her letter: “It’s fun to go back and read this, because not only has the title of the book and the name of the main character changed, but one of the plotlines I discuss in the query is quite different now.”

Take heed, fellow writers: Writing the query and signing with an agent does not mean your work is done! It is simply the beginning of the next phase.

Now, onto the letter:

QUERY: Breaking the Ice by Gail Nall (Aladdin/Simon & Schuster, Spring 2015)

Dear Ms. Weber:

Twelve-year-old Chloe Demirjian-Carter dreams of being a champion figure skater. She practices every day and does everything she’s supposed to do. But when the judges award her perfect program with less-than perfect scores, Chloe lets them know exactly what she thinks.

As a result, Chloe’s coach dumps her and she’s kicked out of her prestigious training rink. No one wants a skater with a big mouth–no one except the misfit Falton Figure Skating Club. But joining Falton may be the second-biggest mistake Chloe’s ever made. No one takes skaters from the “Fall Down” club seriously. If Chloe wants to win the Regional competition, she has to find a way to change the judges’ minds about her new club. Which wouldn’t be so hard if she was the loudmouth skater everyone thinks she is.

A middle grade novel complete at 50,000 words, DON’T FALL DOWN is a cross between Kate Messner’s SUGAR AND ICE and the movie Stick It. The manuscript won honorable mention in the 2012 SCBWI Midsouth Fiction Contest. I am a member of SCBWI, and have experience in the world of competitive figure skating. The first three chapters and the synopsis are pasted below. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Gail Nall

Another fantastic query! Much like last week, we have a main character who is very passionate about her avocation and very good at it, and we have an obstacle that could get in her way of achieving her goals. We also have an author who has personal experience in the topic at hand. I like that in this one we also have what I suspect will be a group of underdogs … kids in the “Fall Down” Club that we’ll come to root for.

For more on Gail and her novel, check out her blog and add BREAKING THE ICE to your “to be read” list on Goodreads!

Queries That Work: Jessica Martinez

Welcome to the first edition of my new blog series, “Queries That Work,” in which we’ll take a look at … wait for it … queries that work. Specifically, queries that have elicited a “yes” from an agent or publisher for a published (or soon to be published) book.

virtuosityTo kick off the series, I am so excited to feature the query for Jessica Martinez’ debut YA novel, VIRTUOSITY. This a great honor for me, because (a) Jessica was my mentor for WriteOnCon last year and is an incredibly talented author and a wonderful person all the way around (and those of you who read the acknowledgements for THE FUNERAL SINGER may have noticed her name in there); (b) I once took an online class with Jessica’s agent, Mandy Hubbard, who is likewise very talented and wonderful; and (c) VIRTUOSITY is a wonderful, wonderful book.

So much wonderfulness in one little blog post!

So, without further ado:

QUERY: Virtuosity by Jessica Martinez (Simon Pulse, 2011)

Dear Ms. Hubbard,

Now is not the time for Carmen to fall in love. Two weeks before the most important violin competition of her career, she has bigger things to worry about–like growing out of that suffocating “child prodigy” label, and not disappointing her mother. But it isn’t just the wrong time. It’s the wrong guy. Jeremy is Carmen’s most talented rival, and according to her mother, he’s only interested in one thing: winning.

He isn’t the only one.

Carmen is so desperate to win she takes anti-anxiety drugs to control performance nerves. But what started a year ago as an easy fix is now a hungry addiction. Her mother insists now is not the time to quit, but Carmen is sick of not feeling anything on stage and even more sick of doing what she’s told.

In the end, [REDACTED HERE DUE TO SPOILERS].

VIRTUOSITY is a contemporary YA novel and is complete at 58,000 words. It is my first novel. I have degrees in English and Music from Brigham Young University, and I’m both a writer and professional violinist. I read about your move to D4EO Literary Agency on the SCBWI website and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Jessica Martinez

There is so much I love about this query, I don’t know where to start. Jessica had me with the first paragraph. What YA fan wouldn’t want to read a story about a talented violinist falling in love with her biggest competitor? Throw in the additional conflict a la her demanding mother and an addiction to anti-anxiety pills, and you’ve got a fantastic premise for a novel. The beautifully written query and the fact that Jessica is a professional violinist tell us we’re in capable hands. No surprise Mandy requested this one and Simon Pulse ultimately published it!

I did find it interesting that Jessica chose to include the resolution in her query (which I redacted because I didn’t want to spoil the ending for you all, and you really do need to go out and buy this book and find out what happens!). It is my understanding that this typically is not necessary and may even be inadvisable. The point of the query is to make the agent/publisher want to read the manuscript, so typically best to avoid spoilers. Still, this obviously worked for Jessica, so I guess we should never say never.

What did you think of this query? Did it make you want to read the book?